Why I Dislike Talking on the Phone

i hate the phone

That invasive ring-a-ling that comes out of the blue and fills you with a slight dread.  Uhhg.  I was so relieved to find out that hating the phone is pretty normal for HSPs.  I guess I’m not the only one who avoids the phone whenever possible.  This post made me laugh!

This phone aversion goes way back for me.  I used to beg my mom to make my phone calls for me, even as late as college.  I know, this is so ridiculous!  Now that I can’t rely on mommy, I try to set up appointments, RSVP for events, and order things online or via text instead of the phone, even if it usually takes longer that way.  I also prefer to text friends to set up face-to-face get-togethers, rather than have lengthy phone conversations.  For my bffs who live far away, I do make exceptions because I love talking to them and want to be a part of their lives.

So why do HSPs hate the phone so much?  What’s the big deal?

Here’s my take on it.

  1. The surprise of a phone call.  It kind of activates a fight or flight response in me.  Sometimes I’m really in the zone- cooking, or cleaning, or just reading in bed, and then that ring just startles me.
  2. Awkward. There is some inevitable awkwardness that goes along with phone conversations.  The small talk, the dead silences, the interruptions, the lengthy goodbyes.
  3. You can’t rely on facial cues.  HSPs are really tuned into facial cues.  It’s hard for me to get the full story if I can’t see the person’s face or gesticulations.
  4. I can’t follow.  People talk too fast or don’t enunciate, which makes me flustered, and then I really miss what they’re saying.
  5. Traumatic past events.  I’ve gotten some pretty tragic phone calls (ex-boyfriend dumping me, notice of my dad’s death, etc.) so it makes me nervous when the phone rings, like “Great, now what??”
  6. Multitasking is not my strength.  It’s so hard for me to parent my kids while also talking on the phone.  Because everyone knows as soon as you pick up the phone, the kids need you desperately.

Who else is with me?  Thank goodness for texting and email.  And to my friends who love the phone, you are well worth the sacrifice 🙂

Kids Clutter Drives me Nuts

tackle kids clutter editedThe older I get, the more averse I am to clutter. Clutter can be extremely distracting and stress-inducing for lots of people, but I believe HSPs are less able to just ignore it.  We are constantly scanning our environment to determine what is relevant or not.  When I see a counter top with tons of papers, pens, knicknacks, and mail, I have fantasies of sweeping it ALL into a hefty bag with my arm.  That would be so satisfying.

I tackled my clutter problem two years ago after reading The Joy of Less.   (I know everyone is obsessed with the Konmari method, but The Joy of Less literally changed my  life.)  I basically went room by room, one room per day.  I purged about 50% of my posessions, and continue to have a charity pick up a few boxes every month.  It feels wonderful to have empty surfaces, tidy rooms, and to know exactly what I own and where it is.  It’s truly helped my home feel more like a sanctuary from the crazy world, instead of crazy town.  Since decluttering, I’m also more likely to invite people over for meals or to just hang out since I know I won’t have to do a crazy cleaning spree beforehand.

Many assume kids’ clutter- toys, baby supplies and gear-  is inevitable.  But if you walked into my home, besides the booster seat at the table, some baby pictures on the wall, and two small baskets of toys in the corner of the living room, you might not even guess we have two kids.  I was inspired by the book Bringing Up Bebe which said French homes are not overwhelmed with kids’ clutter.  Rather, the children keep it all in their rooms.  That’s their little world.  Then when they get tucked into bed at the end of the day, the evening and the home belongs to the parents.  It’s time to sip wine, talk and romance.  Don’t you just love that picture?

Parenting can be so messy, unpredictable, and chaotic, but my house doesn’t need to be.  That’s not an option for me and my well-being.  Clutter is just too burdensome for me and my HSC (Highly Sensitive Child). We need blank space and room to breathe and to think.affiliate badge

Here’s how I keep kids’ clutter under control.

(I highly recommend reading The Joy of Less if you need a swift kick in the booty to get all your clutter under control. You will be changed forever… )

  • Purge 1/2 of their toys.  Then purge some more.  Your kids should probably not be a part of this process. They aren’t good judges of what they really need and use.  You are.  Toss anything broken, neglected, super annoying to clean up.  I know, this seems tough.  But I guarantee your kids will play longer and more creatively with less. It’s ironic.
  • Choose a few baskets or toy boxes to keep toys contained.  The picture above shows Sisi’s toy boxes and bookshelves. We also have a cute little art cart (Ikea’s raskog cart) for art supplies.  When toys start to spill over, we know to purge some more.
  • Same with books.  Purge down to the nitty gritty favorites.  Below you’ll see a picture of our wall bookshelves (which are actually spice racks painted white.)  They fit just a handful of books each, which forces us to keep our collection succinct. We assume we need a huge library for our kids, but we don’t.  Don’t your kids like to read the same books over and over anyway?  We hit up the public library every few weeks if we’re craving novelty. Or we tell stories verbally, the good old fashioned way. (I’m a sucky storyteller but Sisi eats it up!)
  • Baby Stuff:  Only save what is in great condition and actually useful for future children. Ditch anything soiled, worn, not really useful. If by chance you give away something that you end up needing later, it’s really not that hard to find it again for cheap/free. Matteo is 8 months now, and I’ve already given away, sold or donated much of his baby stuff.  I am pretty vigilant about only keeping what is useful right now.  We don’t plan to have any more kids, so I’m happy to say goodbye to this stuff.
  • You probably don’t need that much “baby gear” either. We follow R.I.E. parenting principes, so we try not to rely on swings, jumpers, and fancy electronic toys to keep our kids entertained.  Instead, we put our babies on the floor or the crib to explore with a few simple toys.  We do have one simple and attractive bouncer, the baby bjorn babysitter, which is more like a baby lounge chair for moments when I need to keep baby contained.  Basically, keep the gear you actually use regularly, but know that most of it isn’t essential (even if the catalogs tell you they are!)
  • Kids’ Creations:  We keep 1 or 2 pieces of artwork on the fridge to admire at a time before we recycle them, but we don’t usually keep it forever.  Maybe I will regret this someday, but in my mind, it’s more about the process of creating (I often snap pics of her as she’s working) than the tangible product.  If you’re more sentimental than I, you can always photograph of the creations and condense them into a photo album to treasure always.  Keeping stacks and stacks of artwork is just not conducive to a tidy home.

Does kid clutter drive you nuts, too?  Please share your kid clutter solutions!

tidy kids book shelves